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Some questions, i need answers please..
m
29 December 2005 08:57
Salaam alaikom wa ra7matou Allah wa barakatouh...

My dear brother and sister, I have a few questions..

A friend (he wants to become a muslim in chae Allah) of mine has a sister, there is someone who wants to marry her..
but her brother is afraid that the men will marry later more womans than his sister.. He's question is "Is it possible to arrange something so that the men who wants marry his sister will not marry with more than her?" He is afraid that he will marry 5-6 wifes later, but as i know a men can have 4 wifes.. I told him that, but he said that his sister will suffer if he do..

That was question number one, i have another question..
WHY and WHEN does a girl wear a hidjab?

that was the second question, my third question is..
These persons are not muslims, not yet but soon in chae Allah.. They went to the mosque, they liked to have some information and see how everything goes.. This girl went with her brother, but when she wanted to enter the mosque they asked her so many questions she didn't like.. she is so shy that she couldn't tell.. but she was all over develloped.. she was wearing a hidjab and her clothes as a muslima.. but they keept asking her questions on a rude way.. When someone a men or woman wants to enter the mosque, are there some rules??

Thank you and may Allah bless u in chae Allah..
If u know some islam sites in English please tell me, I apreciate it..

Salaam alaikom wa ra7matou Allah wa barakatouh...
a
29 December 2005 15:57
as I understand your friends and his sister are not muslim but they are looking to be. the person that want to marry the sister is muslim, i asume that cause only muslim have the right to marry more that one women.

answer to your first question:
is his right as muslim to marry 1-4 women as far as he will treat them equal, witch will never be the case.
and the husband is a god muslim he will never make his wife suffer!!

HiJab: Hijab suppose to be weared every where bu Islam.
but for girls that doesn´t wear hijab everyday should cover there head in prayer and in the mosque.

to enter a moske you should juste be clean "wodooe" it means have been wached for prayer, of course cover clothing as you mentioned.

for the people that ask or look down to them in the moske is not good, we should help any person muslim or not muslin seeking knowledge about Islam.

aziz_dk
r
30 December 2005 07:47
I will try to help on the first question.

The sister or her brother should make it clear to the potential husband that the wife-to-be "sister" will not tolerate this behavior polygamy.

I think that the consent of the first wife is needed before the husband can take a second wife. If he forces the first wife, then, he is not worth being with.
m
30 December 2005 09:02
Salaam,

For the frist question:


In Islam, marriage is a legal contract. As in any contract any one is able to put whatever rules he or she wants.

Among the rules in the contract, there should be a chapter saying that if this husband gets married with another woman then the contract is void.

It is the right of the woman to put whatever rules she wants in her contract of marriage.


Also, the right to have more than one wife is granted only under special cases. Where there is a need to take care of orphans for example, as you can see from the verse in the Coran :

4.3. If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.

As you can see it is only possible to get married with another wife if there is a valid reason [taking care of orphans]. And one of the condition is to be just. In another verse Allah SWT says that justice is very hard so better not have more than one woman:

4.129. Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practise self-restraint, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
s
30 December 2005 09:36
I suggest that these questions be asked of "people of Knowledge" and unless you don't speak arabic , go to kitaab allah alkareem it is all in there. Ask your Imam, ask your elders.
The whole story sounds somewhat disorganized and disorienting. Here is why I state that : A brother that is not of Islamic origin is attempting to control/advise his sister! He is even considering becoming a Muslim. She is considering becoming a Muslimah and yet he is concerned about his brother in law whom we don't know anything about marrying more women along with his sister. Come on. Please make sure to tell the brother that iff he embraces Islam he too will have to ponder the question of polygamy and meanwhile he needs to let his sister make her own choices and that is what a good future muslim would do.
When it comes to your female friend being bothered when she goes to the Masjid please accompany her when you can and provide her with your support and need be tell the curious people to leave her alone. It sounds to me like she must be of may be a different race or nationality and that she is a subject of curiosity.You may also encourage her not to isolatie and to try to interact with others. Any way good luck to you all and may allah facilitate your task and guide all of us.

wa assalaam.
M
30 December 2005 10:34
Assalamo 3ala man itaba3a al hoda,

Muslim men have the right if they choose to to mary up to a maximum of four wifes, and one one can take that right away form them, this is a merci from Allah the almighty and all mariage contracts that take away a right that allah has given to them make that marriage contract void.

We all know that a man will never treat all his wifes equaly, he will have one that he will prefer slightly over the other ones, but still he should do his absolute best to be fair towards every one.

Maring more than one wife is 1000 times better that having mistreses or being a pedofile.

I personaly came accross many horrific stories of men (including muslims) going to bed with their own daughters because they did their wifes where unable to have s.e.x with them and they have objected to them having more than one wife.

Moreover if you look around you you will notice very quickly that the number of muslim wemen is far greater than muslim men, and this causes a big problem in society nowdays.

Salam
M
30 December 2005 10:53
Assalamo 3ala man itaba3a al hoda,

A muslim women, if she is a true beleiver can not forbid what Allah has allowed but she can ask to choose and have criterias for the second wife, and has the right to be treated well.

I'ts cummon place in the UK and other muslim counties that the fist wife chooses the second one for her husband.

With regards to the questioning at the mosque, some people are very suspicious and narow minded about new muslims.
I have personaly noticed that especialy with elderly pakistanis (with all my respect to them), They have suffered a lot of racism in the 60 and the 70 in England from white people and they might feel a bit over protective of their (OWN) mosque ....

I recommend that you go preferably to a more open minded mosque, this tend to be the case for most Arabic mosques.

With regards to hijab, it is an obligation on every muslim women who atained puberty.


May allah help you, if you need any help please let us know

Salam

m
30 December 2005 11:05
Salaam alaikom wa rahmatou allah wa barakatouh!!

Baraka allaho fikoum aziz_dk, ramis16, mdlazreg, Shamsiah, MuslimFromLondon!!

I have other questions is it possible to answer them too, please?

- in Islam is it supposed to be bad if a girl is going through her periods? is it something bad ? and why not may she not touch the quraan and pray?

- the local mosque here tells me that to be a Moslim I must go through an operation-is it true? If so, why? (men)

- also one of my Iranian friends told me that Islam also allows a temporaray marraige-is it true?

- what happend if you really want to pray but you have periods?

And i had many more questions, but i found the answer here in books, internet and my parents etc. The problem is, i am afraid to explains something to him and his sister and brother in English, and they will understand me wrong.. i can explain it in my own words, but just in case to be sure it is right, i ask it here to know ideas from others.. (my English ain't that perfect!!) And i will be sure they will understand me good then..

And if u know more islam web sites i like to know, may Allah bless u all in chae Allah..

Djazakoum Allaho kheyran..

Salaam alaikom wa rahmatou Allah wa barakatouh..
M
30 December 2005 11:47
Wa 3alikum aSalaam wa rahmatou allah wa barakatouh.

Baraka allaho fiki sister muslima7186,

In islam whilst a woman is going through her periods, she is in a state of impurity and she should abstain from paying, fasting, touching the quran, this is a merci from allah.

Islam is a deen that came as merci for mankind and muslims are warned against taking the religion to extreems, we should take advantage of favours that the almighty allah gave us.

It's forbideen to pray during your periods but you can still do tasbih and remember Allah or lesen to quran which are very good things.

Most Iranians, practise shiaa islam, which is a deviation from the true islam (sunni islam) they allow things that have been forbiden such as the zawaj al mot3a, which is a temporary marriage that was allowed temporarely (mainly during wars) and has been prohibited afterwords by our prophet Mohammad pbuh and the khalifs.

Salam





a
30 December 2005 18:16
I support all what Muslimfromlondon said.
for the first question I add, that only salat al eid you are allowed to pray if you having your periods.

About giving advice, I guess you can answer as fare as you fell you are right and sure about your answer, when u are not sure you can add allho a3lam. and seach for the right answer.

there is not such a short or temparory mariage right now, i know there some Shi3a and people from middel east that still do that to alow them selv to have Hallal sex . but is not allowed by Islam.

I see that a lot in europe where young people marry durring ramadan and divorce just after, or marry for few months and divorce again, just because the man liked to spend sometimes with her.. be carefull sister.

wa allaho a3lam

aziz_dk


m
3 January 2006 15:24
Salaam alaikom my brothers and sisters!

Baraka Allaho fikoum! This friend that i told u about is ready to say the chahada and become a muslim.. He is convinced el hemdo li Allah.. Can somebody pls tell me what are the first steps to do, i know say the chahada "achHado ana la illaha illa Allah wa achHado ana Mohammed rasol Allah" (SAW)
Does he need to say that in Arabic or English or is that not important? And after he said the chahada he needs to learn how to pray, does he need to learn that in Arabic? And do u know some website where he can learn how to pray? (pls with pictures, audio or video?) Are those the first steps? And what are the next steps?

Fi amaan Allah..

muslima
M
3 January 2006 16:43
Wa 3alikom assalamo wa rahmato allahi wa barakatoh,

I am very glad to hear that your friend is ready to say ashahada and become Muslim alhamdolilah.
Saying the chahada is the one of the most important things in the converts life, and she should feel welcomed and supported by other Muslims.

Unlike Christians there are very few muslim organisations who give help to new muslims, which is a shame.
The converts are most likely to loose all their pre-Islam friends, and face a lot of difficulties after the converssion, they often feel alone and confused unless they have constant support from muslim friends or relatives to whom they could turn to when they need help.

In light of the things that I have said earlier, it becomes clear that the event of saying chahada should be preferably attended by as many muslim sisters as possible who should welcome her into her new Deen.

One way of doing that is by organising a meeting at the local mosque (or which ever mosque that has a reputation for welcoming new converts and offring them support)

As for arabic or English, I think it's better to say it in Arabic she could repeat after someone who knows Arabic.

Yes the next step after the shahada should be the Salat, the Zakat, the Sawm, and Hajj inshalah.
After the shahada, she should also try to memorise at least some short souras of Quoran in Arabic to use the in her salat, it is not a problem if she reads from a peice of paper at the begining whilst doing her prayers.

Saying the shahada is only the begining, muslims should all, try and learn their religion, alhamdolilah there are some very usefull websites out there.

Salam
M
3 January 2006 16:51
Assalamo 3alikom,

I found this program on the net, I have never used it, but we must know that the femal salat is diffrent from the male salat.



Cyber Salat Program features:
CyberSalat is a multimedia program running under Windows which teaches young and new Muslims how to perform Islamic prayer. The program allows any of the daily Islamic prayers to be simulated on-screen. It is an interactive tutor which contains:
Precise, step-by-step instructions in English. If asked for a password use "aadam".

* Accurate audio renditions of the Qur’an.
* Arabic text.
* English translation and transliteration.
* Colour graphics showing changes in postures required for prayer.
* Recitation of the azan (call to prayer).
* Recitation of 11 chapters from the Qur'an.
* On-line context sensitive help system.
* Easy to use and customisable interface.

The link is:
[www.islam-australia.com.au]

Salam
 
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