Hi everyone,
I just wanted to get your feedback about this subject, what do you think does it work?? is it worth someone's time and energy??? what if you are in deep love with the person what would you do???

Thanks

Work hard
make big money,
You will notice the world is too small and such problems can be solved.

I khnow it is easy to talk
To achieve is........Allah Ghaleb

Krim
thanks for your partcipation that's highly appreciated ... would you marry someone and you know that the maximum time you would spend with this person is 15-20 days a year???

Very short, but in my view logical answer,
15-20 days a year? Absolutely not, it would never work, not even as a story for a fiction book…

Dear fabaraw
My answer is a big NO, No No nononononononononononononono and NO.
Forget it

woooooops i was hoping someone would say YES and give some hope oh well life is hard huh

Read carefully my first message.
In addition to mary someone means to share the daily life with him or with her.
So 365 days- 15 days = 350 days without her......
I am speaking for myself, this can be pure torture............



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/22/2006 05:51 by Krim.

Joe and Bill are out fishing and sipping beer while discussing Football and NASCAR.

All of a sudden Joe says " I think I'm gonna divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 6 months."

Bill sips his beer and says" You better think it over, women like that are hard to find."

Krim
i did read it but lets be realistic do you really make enough money in north american countries???? with all the expenses we have here .... you know it is not easy ..... here is my situation ... he is my cousin and he doesnt live in morocco either he works in UAE and we have been very close for years .... he never knew about my plans to leave the country another time i was away for 8 yrs before then i went back hoping i ll make it back home and as you might have guessed it did not work career wise there so i had to leave again after living there for 4 yrs in which we got closer to each other .... so during my last year there and his vacation (one month) he proposed to me but i could not accept as i was getting ready to leave the country again ..... he left to UAE and i left to Canada it has been two years now but we never stoped talking with each other nor loving each other .... now he keeps saying only if you were in morocco ... but to me what is the diffirence really he is away as well so even if i was in morocco we still will be together for a month max .... so i still can be here and him in UAE and still meet in morocco for that month vacation but at least as husband and wife until Allah SWT ifta7ha ..... i m confused i dont know what is the right thing to do follow my heart which is with him or follow my brain which says it is going a hell of a ride .... now what do you think???

Quote
fabaraw
Krim
i did read it but lets be realistic do you really make enough money in north american countries???? with all the expenses we have here .... you know it is not easy ..... here is my situation ... he is my cousin and he doesnt live in morocco either he works in UAE and we have been very close for years .... he never knew about my plans to leave the country another time i was away for 8 yrs before then i went back hoping i ll make it back home and as you might have guessed it did not work career wise there so i had to leave again after living there for 4 yrs in which we got closer to each other .... so during my last year there and his vacation (one month) he proposed to me but i could not accept as i was getting ready to leave the country again ..... he left to UAE and i left to Canada it has been two years now but we never stoped talking with each other nor loving each other .... now he keeps saying only if you were in morocco ... but to me what is the diffirence really he is away as well so even if i was in morocco we still will be together for a month max .... so i still can be here and him in UAE and still meet in morocco for that month vacation but at least as husband and wife until Allah SWT ifta7ha ..... i m confused i dont know what is the right thing to do follow my heart which is with him or follow my brain which says it is going a hell of a ride .... now what do you think???

Salam,
I was also a dilemma but I kept faith in Allah.
Listen sister just do Salat istikhara(if you dont know what is it just let me know) and inshalah Allah swt will guide you.If its written its written.
Whenever a person has to make a big decision such as mariage and so on the person should consult Allah swt and make Salat istikhara(prayer of consultation).as we say Ila fiha lkhir Rabi inshalah yketebha lek!
Good luck sis

Dear Fabaraw
I am sorry to read about your situation. I gave my opinion on the fact that you marry someone by knowing that you will meet him 15 or 20 days a year. Since you are both abroad, UAE and Canada, and you are legally in these countries. You can always think in which of both countrie you can build your future together.
They should be solutions, even in the first or 2 years you will be separated. One should make plans to move and live with the other.
Wish you all the best
Krim

I am so sorry to tell you, that if you have felling for your cousin you just wasting time trying to know other things than to get together with him.

if i were you i will go for Krim Advise, try to see witch country we can can build our futur in.

try to give him a visit in UAE and find out if it is a place you can live in, as a couple other ways Canada is another obtion.


best wishes

thanks everyone for the input i really appreciate your help

It worked for me.I met my husband in morocco 3 years ago now. We married after 2 years and a half.I used to go to morocco 3 times a year ( thats when i had school and no job,now impossible for me to do that lol). Other than that, the phone and the internet are the only ways to get in touch.Distance is a mutha but i dont care.I knew it was him and nobody else. Even tho people tried to convince me that im young and that love is blind blah blah blah blah.

Keep the faith fabaraw...thats all I can say. I know it's hard but when you know and you SURE that is the right person for you then what? dont listen to what people say, thats bullshit.I think you're grown enough to know whats good for you

Hello Soussia2agdal,
Welcome to the forum,
Just want to tell you that you have the right to your opinion, just like others have the right to theirs. I have been a member of this forum since its creation, and I never read any comment that qualified other participants comments or views as Bull…, like you did. we managed to keep a good level of respect toward each other, and unlike the low level and trash talk in many forums, this one can stand as an example for class and mutual respect, and yes, even when we disagree.
When our dear friend fabaraw said in her reply to Krim: “would you marry someone and you know that the maximum time you would spend with this person is 15-20 days a year???” She did not put a time limit, did not say for 5, 10 or 15 years. in that case, my response was and is absolutely not, because no one can live their entire live seeing their wife or their husband 15-20 days a year.
Everyone will be happy if one day fabaraw write to tell us that she had joined her husband in the UAE or that he did move where she resides, nothing would make this forum more happy, but again, that was not the question, but it’s something we all hope and wish for our friend.
These are VIEWS and OPINIONS and not B…… that you called them…

Almot,

First of all,Thanks for welcoming me on here
When I said dont listen to people's bullshit I didnt mean people on here.Im talin about people who are tryin to convince you made or are goin to make the wrong choice.Makin up lies and givin you examples of long relationship relationships that ended up bad.

The goal of my post wasnt to offend anyone and im truly sorry if I did.

and I'm truly sorry if I misunderstood your comment.

Hi friend
Let start with saying something about relationship.For a succesful relationship there should be respect,love and lot of sacrifice from both ends.Its should be from deep within the heart.But for any relation to built it takes long time.Because to know someone it takes time.Nothing is impossible in this world .If u both respect and care about each other doesnt matter how long the distance is .Just pray god and if its there in your fate it will surely work out.

Folks,

"Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely"
The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.
- William Blake



We ask questions and we wonder if it gonna work or no, anything new or un casual does not necessary mean is a failure.

In a matter of fact, people are not used to this new means of communication, the internet, I think in the arena of relationships it is way safer than any other contemporary one. You try to see, hear, and sense people without necessarly being with them, you can learn about the other without facing the worry of being with an incognito guy !

I know a lot of people, who succeeded in realizing that dream : finding the loved one through internet, unfortunately we cannot have a full synthesis, essentially because we lack of time. Internet is fairly new, and we cannot decide upon its success until at least one full generation has adopted its use.



I will also, contradict some; and I am sorry to do so, but I had to; A good relationship is not based solely on respect and love. a good relationship is based rather on coherence, intimacy, communication .. well in other words: chemistry. Love is ephemere, respect must be a consequence not a cause.



Moreover, a connection does not have a miracle recipe to succeed. It is not if ytou are respectful and lovely it will work out. Nonetheless, people divorce often for other reasons. Just let it go, if you feel prepared and ready for it, go and stop thinking : in a matter of thinking : Ida kounta da ra2iyin fakone da 3azimatine

fa2inna fassada arra2yi an tataraddada !


Regards



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/27/2006 10:25 by l9bi7.

Thanks everyone for your opinions ... i think i made up my mind as most of you said it will be very hard to have this thing work ... so may be the best thing to do is to let go .... i admit it will be so hard but it is the right thing to do.

Thanks one more time.
best wishes to everyone.

Dear Soussia
There is no reason to use "bullshit". You have a different opinion, which can or can not be helpfull to fabaraw as any other opinion. At the end of the discussion, all these opinion can or can not help Fabaraw makes her mind.
Intahhhhna

Krim, the thread has been updated accordingly,and she, in fact, apologiszed. so no need to put oil on a already burning fire !


Fabaraw, I hope you follow your heart, life is all about risk, I knew you for a while, and I think that a good heart like yours disearves a nice person to be with. Indeed, If you think he sis the one, show him that you are willing to go for it.maybe not by going there, but let him know u r willing to take risks with him. So many relationships do not work just because of reluctancy.


Trust me, Mostly in here you gonna find only people without a "Real internet experience" and I am one of them. Yet, they are many many others who succeeded that way, and u may wonder why he or she is not sharing his / her experience with us in the net ? Well : Maybe they are enjoying a their life as a couple.

Think of it as a matter of heart, of love, not as a calculation, as long as you are willing to give up something to get something better off.

Hi fabaraw
Long distance relationship is hard to achieve. If you survive that and get together you will most likely to realise that the person that you imagined he is and the person that he is is too different.
I am also interrested to know how you calculated the time 15-20 years? is it based on your life estimate?
Best regards
Mounir

Mounir69
the 15 to 20 days based on the vacation time we get here in canada you get 2 weeks vacation a year for the first 5 yrs and afterwards it goes up to 3 weeks they became generous with us after they suck all the energy we have and if you change jobs you are back to 2 weeks again ... lovely country huh

thanks Leqbi7 for the compliment i do appreciate that .... it is a hard call my dear i dont want to make mistakes in my life even my age doesnt allowm me to do that now ... so every single move i make has to be well calculated

thanks everyone for the support.

fabaraw,

you think by letting go on your cousin you'll wake up one fine day and find yourself in blooming love again, wake up sister this thing happens once in a lifetime, that if you get lucky... If your cousin works in UAE there must be great prospects for him in Canada too (english speaking part of the country) and if I was in his shoes I would be more thant proud to put my marriage and my will to join my wife on the front line to seek a job resettlement. I know it's not eas but doable and that's what matters. If you marry your cousin will there be any ways to join him to the UAE? did you search for any opportunities of that kind? My point is don't let go, life is about challenges, what did you expect you were gonna meet the prince of your dreams around the corners..it ain't gonna happen that easy you have to fight for it, go the extra mile, make some sacrifices some real hard ones and tell yourself i'm doing it for the best cause. This is my advice, not to you but to all those who found Honest and true love, hold on tight things can't get any uglier.

Good luck, keep faith in allah (alkhayrou fima khatarahou allah)...


Driss